Eat, Love, Pray & Duaa: the weapon of the believer

So ive finished 2 books since last night alhamdulillah :) just glad to get them done and finished, now I can start more heehee... I finished eat, pray, love last night which I really enjoyed. I wouldnt say it was an excellant book with some much to learn but it was nice to hear about this ladies experiences with Italy, India and Indonesia masha'allah.. So if you find the book, check it out :) its well worth it just for the peace and hope it gives you, I know Im already awaiting her next one of the series (and yes it is a true story)
I just finished duaa: the weapon of the believer too alhamdulillah.. now that has taken me awhile to read and I think I would have to read it again in the future.. there is so much knowledge about duaa that we dont even realise. I learnt a lot from that book, namely yesterday when I learnt that when I make the qunut duaa in witr I shouldnt blow on my hands and wipe my face... it isnt anywhere in the sunnah to do this while in salah and the gesture is even questioned for outside of duaa (more reseach needed) Its a good book though full of stuff to learn masha'allah.
Just wanted to let you all know :P now what to start next, that is the question
Peace and salams, Ammena

that night

.... I followed the routine of salah without thinking about the outside world, in total control of my thoughts and only there for one thing. A sign, something that reminded me that my creator would always be there for me no matter how much I questioned. I prayed 2 rakahs, then 2 more, then 2 more, my legs started to ache and I felt like I didnt have any tears left to release but they kept falling. I prayed for what seemed like 5 minutes but when looking at the clock after 2 more rakahs I saw that 2 hours had passed in complete contemplation. At that point I sat on my prayer mat, raised my hands to the sky and poured out my duaas for me, the ummah, my friends, my family and for the world that surrounded us. I pulled out the one book I had not packed away as it was the most important one, something I knew I could turn to at any point, the Qu'ran. As I was reciting a few verses my phne started to vibrate but at that point I just couldnt pull myself away and wanted to not know what the person on the end of the line would be saying to me. I continued for about 2 chapters, while my phone stopped then started vibrating occassionally bleeping to prove the world was alive. And leaving me messages! What is more important I thought, then I reminded myself of one member of the sahaba who used to pray and fast for days at a time, giving no consideration to those around him. The prophet (saws) reminded him that his body has a right over him aswell as his wife. Well I wasnt a wife yet, but I had been trying to fight the stomach growls for the past hour so I stood up quietly closing my quran and looked at my phone. 20 missed calls, 3 voice messages and 5 texts. Hmm.... after going through them all i realised they were all from the same 3 people and all stood outside my flat :D alhamdulillah for those girls. I looked out through the window with the rain falling down and saw them all sat in a car with bags on their knees and looking a little tired, i immediately felt myself blush at not having faith in my girls. Davina noticed the break in the curtains and pointed up to which everyone piled out the car and waited for me to throw on my scarf to meet them at the door.

This was it, my last night of being just me, what was I supposed to do? I looked around my 1bedroomed flat, with everything packed into boxes looking for something to do. By the end of the week all the boxes would be being unpacked in my new husbands place, along way from here; not physically, more mentally. So what does one do on her last night? throw a party? no, people are supposed to throw you parties! that idea goes out the window. Pamper myself? i suppose when im married I wont have time for myself, but everything is packed away. Damn! I should have thought this through properly before packing.I have never felt like this before, so at a lose of something to do. There was always something to do, but now all my somethings were stashed away in storage and I hadnt the foggiest of where they were. Were my books in the box labelled bedroom, study or living room; it seems so long since I sat in his house with my best friend and my wali. He showed us around the house, I assumed I would have the chance to see it more or at least take things in but that wasnt to be :) I smiled at the thought of his place, my new place, our place. Ive never been part of an 'our' and then it just felt right. Subhanallah, I couldnt even get out my computer and trawl the random blogs I usually do, or look up islamic etiquettes for the wedding night, which was might I add freaking me out!So I picked up the next best thing mi celular (my mobile phone) it was at that point that I got the extra kick that i couldnt even swot up on my newest passion; really getting into the language of some of my ancestors, Spanish. I flicked through the phone book and found exactly who I was looking for, my best friend from school; Helena. It rang and rang and noone answered, so my best friend from university it was to be, very close 2nd and only called 2nd because of the time I had known Helena in relation to Davina. She answered after the 4th ring "Assalamalikum habibti, keef halek?"; "Walikum salam, alhamdulillah, Im good thanks. You?' I replied waiting for the infamous excitedness she always screamed when something loomed in the near future, ie my wedding. Her reply was something I was sort of expecting but her action was not. "Im good alhamdulillah, although super super busy at the moment. Can I give you a tinkle later on? maybe tomorrow insha'allah." before I could reply 'thats fine' or even remind her I would be busy she hung up. As soon as I heard the unfamiliar tone of a hang up the tears fell.Why they fell, I could not tell you. Out of fear, depression, anxiety, stupidness. All or one? Who knows! least of all me, but God does and thats what stopped them as soon as they had started as I stood up to make wudu for my immediate decision to pray until I could take no more.