I woke up early that morning, ready for whatever the day would bring, anxious to see what it would bring. I followed my usual routine, washed, got ready, ate breakfast, then headed out to my car, today was going to be different, something to remember and I was going to make sure of it. I placed my big bag on the seat next to me, full of things I would need today, and made my way over to a girls house. I had met this girl just a few months ago, but in that time she had opened my mind up to the impossible, the unspeakable, the unthinkable, or so I thought. After 20 minutes driving I pulled up outside her house and held onto my bag as I got out of the car and walked over to her doorstep. After ringing the bell I noticed the curtains twitch beside me and a few seconds later the door opened, there was noone there or so I thought until I heard a quiet 'hello' from behind the door. I stepped in and turned as the door closed to see this girl, this child, who could be my child, stood in a tshirt and jeans with a wild head of red hair. I smiled to myself and returned the greeting, she motioned me to the front room and asked if I was ready for today... I pushed my bag in full view and nodded smiling. We sat down and went through some details of what the day may bring and she answered a few of the questions that were swimming around my head. I moved a thin strand of grey hair from my eyes as we looked on the map for directions to the place that we were visiting for the first time together. I didnt know whether I was nervous, excited or just plain dilarious... I just knew that it was about time, and now I felt like a teenager again.
I had spoken to my children the night previous to tell them my plans for the day, their reply? 'your life mum, do what you want' which I was happy with, I just hoped I could show them the things that had turned me into this different person in such a short space of time. Anyways they were ok with it, that was the important thing, even my grandson climbed on my lap and asked if I would still make him cookies while mummy was working which made me giggle at the thought.
Now we were on our way, we left the house all dressed and somewhere to go! I opened the car door for Rosie and fixed my skirt length before stepping tentatively into my car. The drive to the building was quiet, many thoughts going through my head that I just couldnt, or didnt want to share. She took in the country roads as they wound up and down along the fields filled with cows, sheep and horses.
Upon arriving at the buliding I remember thinking it was smaller than I had expected and suddenly started worrying about what else would be different than I expected. I rang the bell and was greeted by a tall man wearing a little hat 'we've been expecting you' he said in a strong yet supportive voice. He stepped back to let us through, this was it.. I couldnt run now, he was stood at the side and Rosie was stood behind me, there was no escape. I started to panic, to sweat, to hallucinate until I was brought back with the man talking to me again. "so did you read the things I gave you?" I nodded meekly "would you like me to say it first?" He enquired, I shook my head... I had gone over this so often in my head and practised it so much I wanted to say it with my heart in my own words.. but I knew there was a routine, a way to do it so I did. I coughed and looked out of the window as I said the words to the beginning of the rest of my life
"ash hadu anna illah ha illallah, wa ash hadu anna muhammadan abduhu wa rasulallah" I cried, the beginning I told myself