Reason

'When I first met Ethan I knew that he was different, he had passion in his heart about the things that mattered and he had made his decisions in life. He knew what he wanted to do and he was prepared to give up things for it, that was courageous masha'allah. I prayed istikharah for help in this matter and I asked Allah that if things were to go further to make our paths cross. When we bumped into each other at the mosque I took it as a sign, and an even bigger sign when I realised we had been brought together by the one person i look up to the most aside from Abu, Nasser. I knew that if Nasser could be this close to someone he was special so I decided to mention it to him the night that Ethan came around for the iftar. I asked him to keep my identity quiet because I wanted to see if Ethan thought the same way, I wanted to get to know him a little better outside of pretences and situations. And I have done, and today he proved to me that he thought more of our relationship by protecting me when I needed it, when I wanted it'

Nasser punched me in the arm and frowned 'no biggy, nothing I couldnt handle,' I told him quietly not wanting to interrupt Sadia. At that moment she looked up for the first time since she had come down the stairs, straight at me, my heart pounded and I blushed. She looked back down at her hands and carried on, 'I know there is still so much that I need to know about him, but from the things I already know I know he will make a good husband. I know he will look after me, ask for my opinions, talk to me as an equal and give me what I want. I havent found that yet in a guy who also had Islam so close to him, masha'allah. I want to find out more about him, the things that make him the person that he is, but I want to do it right. So I talked to Abu and Ummi about it and they were all for it. Im sorry I didnt tell you how I was doing this, but I thought you would talk me out of it and demand things to be done a little more properly. I have kept this as halal as possible, Im sorry Ethan for not telling you about it either but I just needed to see those things for myself in natural surroundings and I pray that you all understand.' Aisha put her hand over her daughters and smiled, her dad looked at me and asked 'so now we all know why, is this something that you want to progress with Ethan?' I didnt know what to say, of course I did but how do I say yes without sounding too eager? Would she take me warts and all? then I reminded myself that I had talked to Nasser about my past and if he didnt approve we wouldnt be here now. So I said all I could think to say 'insha'allah' everyone smiled and I breathed a sigh of relief. I sat further back into the chair as people talked and congratulated me, they shook my hand, slapped me on the back, handed me some sparkling juice, but all I could do was watch her as she smiled shyly to the floor. She looked up at me and caught my eye, the connection was there, I had felt it all those times before and now I knew the connection was going to go further I felt much better for following my gut feelings.
This was it, this was my life now and I was totally grateful, alhamdulillah