June 22, 2008

the morning

It was finally here, the morning I would become part of a couple. Me & him, him and I, us, them, that couple, and I couldnt wait insha'allah. I woke up in my quiet boxed up flat with my 3 friends who had turned up armed with food the night before when I had needed them, alhamdulillah. I looked at the clock as it flashed 7am, I was getting too old for this staying up late malaky but I smiled as I stretched and knew it would be something that I missed. I poked Helena in the arm as she lay next to me, she smiled and opened one eye to look at me while trying to slowly adjust to the light that was now streaming through my window. I sat up and stretched some more with a stiffled yawn and a twitch of my nose, sitting back against a box it then i was brought back down to earth wondering what the day would bring. The civil service was booked for 12pm that day, with the nikah being performed at the masjid at 930am, we had decided the nikah would be a small service with just family and close friends, then we would all go out for breakfast at a local restaurant where we knew the owners.. ok, where he knew the owners :P Then we would make our way over for the civil service. Suddenly I jumped when my phone started vibrating on the wooden floor and the sound echoed out around the room, 'who had turned my ringer on' I wondered. I flipped open the phone 'Hello? hey mum, just we're all awake. Where are you? ok, you want to come around here? yeh should be room. Then we can meet everyone at the mosque, you sure youre ok with all this? Good' After a while I sniffed, wiped a tear from my eye and tried so hard to stop the quiver in my voice 'I love you too' then I put down the phone reaching for a tissue. Davina sat next to me with some orange juice, gave me a little squeeze and kissed my cheek 'Alhamdulillah sis, alhamdulillah' she smiled, I knew exactly what she meant. Who would think that the woman who gave birth to me, then disowned me for 3 years of my life would be at my wedding? My wedding!! To a muslim man! and not just any muslim man, a non-english muslim man! Alhamdulillah in deedy doody :DSo now we were all sat around driving tea or juice when my mum pulled up downstairs, she rang the bell and I buzzed her in. When I opened the door she gave me a big hug and I was surprised to see what she was wearing, as she went around the girls hugging them all and giggling at everything I smiled to myself as I watched her walk around the room in her bare feet (after taking her shoes off at the door) her floor length lilac coat skimming the floor around the bottom of a pair or ivory loose fitted trousers and a lilac shirt. I felt so proud of her and I knew it had been a big deal for her, but she made no fuss and just carried on.'You want some tea? juice?' I asked her, she shook her head as she fingered the material of my dress hanging over the door. 'Cute outfit Lavine' Davina commented to my mum, she blushed... 'oh just something I found in the shops' she said pulling her jacket off to reveal the shirt underneath, it was at that point that I noticed the sewing detail inside and the fact that there were no labels in the coat told me she had had the jacket made. I smiled to myself, then caught Davinas eye as we both realised the same, then we both mouthed the same words 'masha'allah' and I looked at my mum again with a new found pride. She asked how long it would take to get there and after me telling her it was about 10mins drive away by taxi (which we had booked the night before) she proceeded to ask what needed to be sorted before we left. The list was small but important to me all the same, we had to pick a few relatives up from the train station, although they werent all coming to the masjid they were here for the wedding and it meant just as much to me. There were flowers to pick up on the way to the civil ceremony and there was luggage to drop off at the hotel we had booked for ourselves and a few guests. I had packed my bag the night before under the watchful eyes of my friends, many items went in and out under instructions from them and we laughed during the whole episode, but at least that was done. The time was now just moving past 8am so I pulled out a few things and moved towards the bathroom to get changed, the next time I appeared from the tiny little room I was wearing an ivory long silk slip with a thigh length slit in (to tease him, my mum told me... 'muslim or not, he likes to be teased') I blushed at the conversation we had in la Senza a few weeks before. The girls whistled and my mum knowingly smiled at me, I blushed some more before pulling my dress out from under all the layers. Then disappeared into the bathroom once more, I zipped up the back of the dress (well it was more the side from my hip to just under my arm) after slipping my arms into the sleeves and after having my hijab ironed I smoothed down the sides of the scarf to sit tight against my face and pinned it under my chin. I tucked the ends into my dress as I had decided to do the night before and looked at myself in the mirror, 'was i ready for this? of course!' Now I was ready to step out of the bathroom, i walked out and got the reaction I was looking for alhamdulillah. This was it, this was the start of it all and I could hardly wait... but then I felt sick and turned right back into the bathroom.

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